In order to have a happy life, I need to have a daily happy wife. The most important thing that I need to improve on myself is to speak gently and nicely to my wife. How to do it?If you want to know if he loves you, it’s in his voice: People make subtle changes in the way they speak when they talk to someone they find attractive
- Researchers found voice modulations make speaker attractive to listener
- Men were found to vary tone in a ‘sing-song voice’ like actor Leslie Phillips’
- Men reached lower minimum voice pitch speaking to ‘less attractive’ women
- Take deep breath before talk on serious or emotional issue
Speaking nicely to other people is about using your empathy to be considerate of others. It is about saying things clearly so that you are understood well. Speaking nicely also involves thinking before you speak, in order to put aside any of your own hostilities, annoyances and gripes that can cause tension or upset when holding a conversation or discussion.
% steps to speak nicely – from wikihow
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Speaking Clearly
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Pronounce your words clearly. People range in their ability to hear and understand language, and you have a greater chance of being heard and understood when you speak clearly. Practice with a recorder or ask a friend to help you learn to pronounce your words with more clarity. Things that can help include slowing down, lowering the tone of your voice, listening to and borrowing from actors whose accent or tone you like, etc.
- Avoid using a monotone (no variances in your speech). This suggests that you don’t have confidence in what you’re saying and it tends to bore people after a short time.
- Avoid mumbling. People feel very embarrassed when they continually fail to “catch” what is being said and will soon find and excuse to get away from someone who is mumbling a lot. If you mumble as a result of shyness, it’s important to address this cause; for example, see How to overcome shyness.
2Speak more softly. Try to tone down any hint of aggression or loudness in your voice when talking to others. Loudness causes people to be on the alert and even on the defensive, and can set them on edge. As for aggressiveness coming through the voice, few people will miss this intent and will feel very uncomfortable.2
Making Your Meaning Clear
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1 Use good grammar when speaking. Well constructed sentences impart information more clearly than using slang or vague meanings. When you use grammar properly, it is easier for the listener to grasp your meaning without having to struggle.
- While slang may be the “in” thing for your clique, family or group, avoid using it with people outside that circle of intimates. Slang rarely travels well.
2 Say what you mean without demeaning another. Be assertive, not aggressive or manipulative. This means stating clearly and firmly what your needs, interests and preferences are without overriding the interests or needs of the listener. If you are aggressive or manipulative, this places the listener on the defensive and isn’t a nice way to engage in a discussion.- Do not directly blame the listener’s personal traits. If the listener has done a poor job of something, state how the job was done poorly rather than calling the person sloppy, lazy or thoughtless.
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Being Calm
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Slow down when discussing important issues. You may feel excited, impassioned, angry or even fearful about a particular topic but your emotions are not an excuse to shoot from the hip and rally off a whole bunch of insults or demands. Instead, take the time to respond to things that matter to you or set off your emotions. There is no harm in saying something like, “That’s a big issue you’ve raised there. I’m going to need to think it over for a day or two and get back to you on that.” Buying yourself time also gives you a chance to cool off and reflect over the matter. Ultimately, it means that you keep the discussion nice.2 Avoid being impulsive. Your listener may think you rude and even mean if you keep cutting them off before they’ve had a chance to fully explain, explore or talk about their issues. If you are in the habit of always cutting people off, or always needing to butt in and add your two cents worth before the whole story is laid out, learn to restrain yourself. Nice talk is like a well orchestrated game, with each side having a turn and in between turns, avid concentration on what the other person is really saying.
Using Active Listening
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Concentrate on the speaker’s words. Don’t ever think of what you’re going to say while the person is talking! This is rude, and they’ll know that you weren’t really listening and that you think more highly of your own opinion than of theirs. And that may hurt their feelings. While this isn’t about speaking nicely per se, it is an important part of holding a decent and thoughtful conversation with other people.
- Show more interest in the other person than in yourself and you will have a captive audience for the things that you do want to get across.
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Stepping Off the Rumor Mill
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Avoid speaking ill. Gossip, rumors and backstabbing conversations have no place when you’re aiming to speak nicely. Complaining is also out. Find positive and constructive ways to explain yourself and the things that happen to you. Concentrate on what you want rather on how you wish other people would behave. Remember that you can’t change other people but you can make it clear what you want to happen for yourself.
- Beware sarcasm. It may feel witty and clever but it is barbed wit and it can hurt people who either don’t get it or who realize that you are being damning about something they genuinely care about. That said, there are occasions where sarcasm can relieve tension, so use your best judgment knowing the people you’re with. The best advice is to not make a habit of it.
- Avoid being saccharin sweet. The “everything’s great” attitude when things are clearly not great is annoying and people see through it quickly. It is better to acknowledge what isn’t working at the same time as being upbeat rather than sugarcoating bad things.
2 Be the bearer of good news. Even in times of hardship and difficulty, it is possible to relay information in a way that helps people rather than leaves them feeling sad, angry or at a loss. Look for ways to bring positive things to everyone’s attention, all while acknowledging the hardship. This is as much a habit as always complaining is a habit, and with practice, you can turn it around.- For example, consider a situation of a power outage. Everyone is sitting around feeling miserable, complaining how cold and boring it is. You might say something like: “I know it’s dark and cold in here but we can get the blankets out of the cupboard and wrap ourselves up in them, Johnny can cook us a cup of hot cocoa using the camping stove on the porch and we can play cards by candlelight.” Finding the “nice” in difficult situations can help boost people’s spirits immensely.
Community Q&A
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How can I be nice to family members?wikiHow ContributorAlways speak thoughtfully and kindly. Give yourself 30 seconds to think through what you say and what others say will really humanize the conversation. Most importantly, the way forward is to always walk and talk with a kind heart.
